And by that I mean one boy in particular.
SUCH A DIIIICCCKKKKKK
It’s always interesting when you go to a party and don’t drink that much. Even when I am drunk, I pull off sober pretty well. I like being clear headed and I like being in control, so getting completely wasted isn’t always my cup of tea. I sipped on a lot of things: a beer, some wine, a weird combination of diet coke and a variety of different flavored vodkas, a shot of vodka, and a shot of watermelon vodka that barely qualified as alcohol. I had some pizza, so that sobered me up quick, and I also tried butter beer which had no beer in it at all. I got to the drunk philosophical stage, I guess you could call it.
So there I was, meandering around sort of chatting people up. A friend of mine was there from a previous party I had gone to. I lied to some people and said I was in college. This was also a stoplight party, so you wear red if you’re taken, yellow if you’re not interested, and green if you’re single. I, of course, wore green. But were there any straight guys?
Not. A. Single. One.
Yet all these drunk lesbians and gay guys kept telling me I was gorgeous and I should model. Elliott even said I was a better actor than he is. They say that what you say when you’re drunk are sober thoughts, but compliments have a lot less meaning when a drunk person you barely know says something nice and then passes out on the floor. I also met a straight girl who also is a gay man stuck in a woman’s body.
Did I mention this party was being hosted by a tranny with muscular dystrophy?
Anyway, it got me thinking. If these people had met me when they were sober, would they have thought the same thing? And if all these people thought this, then why am I still single?
I woke up this morning to Elliott and Dylan cuddling and I had to leave. I couldn’t take it anymore. Before Dylan woke up, Elliott and I were watching Say Yes to the Dress, which is about wedding dress shopping. I couldn’t help but think “What if I never get to do that? What if I never fall in love again?”
So I have come to the conclusion that my biggest fear is dying alone.
Maybe it’s the Valentine’s Day blues. Maybe it’s cause I just got played with. Maybe cause I’m just so scared of getting hurt again. It could be a million different things.
All I know is that this a rant from a single girl who gets drunk all to often and not often enough.
THAT WAS MAGNIFICENT.
AHHHHHH
GENTLEMANLY
KIND
FUNNY
EXACT SAME POLITICAL VIEWS
NOT SUPER RELIGIOUS
BEAUTIFUL
PLAYS THE DRUMS AND PIANO
SINGS
DOES THEATRE
RUNS
ROWS CREW
HAS AN EXCELLENT TASTE IN MUSIC
sofuckinghappyidon’tknowwhattodo
But in other news, I’m chatting with cute Thespian boy (CTB?)
So that’s a plus.
After being having a crush/being with the same person for nearly two years, it’s been great to think about other people, men specifically ;) The thing is, when I would have crushes on other boys, that certain one would always be in the back of my head, so I would get scared and ditch the guy that I was currently in a quasi relationship with. Needless to say, not a good plan at all. I lost a few friends.
Anyway, now that’s over with, I find myself being much more carefree. And I FLIRTING I MISSED YOU.
I think I have a crush on a certain kid. Well, it’s small, but he’s very nice and cute. And holyshithiseyesaregorgeous.
I like being single for the time being though. It’s not as bad as I expected.
Things are lovely.
I am heartbroken. You never talk to me. You ignore me. Nothing around you is fun anymore. We were great friends for what, two months?! That’s awful. I tried to be your friend recently, but I couldn’t do that all by myself.
I wish we could go back to how things were before Homecoming, when all I knew is that you had a cute little boy crush on me and nothing else. That would be great now. However, you want nothing to do with me.
So long Monte Carlo and coffee translations and kittehs and t-rexes and red Ferraris.
I’m really sad about this. I cared about you and now this. This is shit.
One day you’ll see what you missed out on. You go ahead and sit in your room and play guitar. I’ll be here thinking about you and how I screwed up or how you screwed up. Actually, how WE screwed up.
I will always keep the toy red Ferrari you gave me, the rose you gave me when you asked me out to Homecoming, and the corsage from Homecoming in memory of what we had.
I’ll miss you, but I’m not gonna let you hold me back.
